228: Why Donβt ADHD Kids Listen? with Luba Patlakh
When a child repeatedly fails to follow instructions, gives one-word answers, or has an intense reaction to a small request, it may look like defiance. But the real challenge may be how their brain is processing, organizing, and communicating information after they hear it. In this episode of The Soaring Child Podcast, Dana Kay speaks with speech-language pathologist and myofunctional therapist Luba Patlakh about one of the most overlooked areas of ADHD: communication. They explore how executive functioning, hearing, language processing, sensory needs, airway health, sleep, and emotional regulation can all influence a child's ability to listen and respond. Luba also explains why parents should be cautious about being told to simply "wait and see" when they notice developmental or communication concerns. She shares the signs that may warrant a professional evaluation, how speech therapy differs from occupational and physical therapy, and why a multidisciplinary approach can help families better understand what is happening beneath a child's behavior. Parents will also learn practical strategies they can begin using immediately, including how to pause before reacting, gather meaningful observations, model language, and use Luba's "field of two" technique to encourage children to communicate their needs more clearly. This conversation is a supportive reminder that behavior is often communication, and that understanding the reason behind a child's struggle can lead to more compassionate and effective support.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW
Luba Patlakh's Website - https://lubapatlakh.com/
Luba Patlakh on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=18908878
Luba Patlakh on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lubapatlakh/
Luba Patlakh on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lubapatlakh
The Growth Lab Podcast on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@thegrowthlabpodcast KEY
TAKEAWAYS
[00:00] A child may hear a parent's instruction but struggle with what happens next, including processing, organizing, remembering, and responding to the information.
[03:53] Parents should examine when and where communication breakdowns occur rather than immediately assuming a child is ignoring them or behaving badly.
[05:10] A lack of response can be useful information. Luba encourages parents to collect observations and consider executive functioning, hearing, cognition, and language processing.
[06:34] Formal assessments from qualified professionals can help distinguish attention difficulties from speech, language, communication, or cognitive delays.
[08:55] Speech-language pathologists may address articulation, language, comprehension, vocabulary, feeding, swallowing, airway health, and communication.
[10:14] Occupational therapy focuses on sensory processing, fine-motor skills, grasping, writing, feeding skills, and functioning in daily environments.
[13:04] Myofunctional therapy examines how the mouth, tongue, lips, nose, breathing, posture, and airway are working together.
[13:41] Chronic mouth breathing and difficulty maintaining a full lip seal may affect sleep, regulation, attention, and behavior.
[16:37] Parents should not automatically accept "wait and see" when they have ongoing concerns about communication, development, behavior, or regulation.
[19:22] Luba's story of a three-year-old illustrates how speech, movement, eating, digestion, sleep, medication side effects, and development can be interconnected.
[22:00] Pausing before solving and observing before reacting can help parents recognize patterns and bring clearer information to professionals.
[25:54] The "field of two" technique encourages communication by presenting two choices, allowing the child to select one, and then modeling the language needed to express that choice.
MEMORABLE MOMENTS
[05:10] "That lack of communication at that moment is your data."
[13:41] "If a child cannot have a full lip seal, it dysregulates the body."
[15:57] "So it's called a recipe for disaster."
[16:37] "I am a firm believer and I'm always going to be an advocate of begin yesterday."
[17:56] "Why are we waiting for it to be worse? Like, what are we waiting for?"
[20:45] "And that's so, imagine she would have waited and seen. What was she waiting and seeing?"
[22:00] "You need to pause before you solve the situation and observe before you react."
[23:18] "It's a process. So my advice is just slow down, really take a look at what's happening."
[24:33] "If they're overreacting, throwing a fit somewhere in the store, you know, you wanna take a closer look at what's happening."
[25:54] "You do wanna start doing what I call a field of two."
DANA KAY RESOURCES π
WEBSITES: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/ https://dana-kay.com/
π SOCIALS:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
π INTERNATIONAL BEST SELLING BOOK:
Thriving with ADHD β https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
π» FREE MASTERCLASS:
Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
β COURSES & PROGRAMS:
ADHD Parenting Course β https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program β https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
